8/20/13

The God of the mountain is still God in the valley

Well, we made it back from Cherokee, NC Sunday evening.  My brain has been preoccupied with so many things that I don't even know where to start to fill you in on the details of the trip. 

I'm experiencing some of those mountain/valley feelings right now.  Not because I've just returned from the most beautiful mountains in the world, but because I'm literally feeling like I'm in a valley at this very moment.

I know.  It doesn't make sense, does it?  Two weeks ago, my first children's book was published.  Last week that excitement continued and I was so looking forward to going on our mission trip to Cherokee!  But now I'm back....and it's back to reality.

Reality for me is a bit complicated.  I'm trying to sort through my feelings and use my psychology training on myself...ha! 

The truth is that I am very insecure.  Perhaps it's because of the many bad choices I made in the past.  The same past and shame that Jesus freed me from can still cause me to stop in my tracks and doubt myself. 

When things don't go as planned, doubt sets in.  I'm a perfectionist, so that actually happens often.  When you have a history of depression (like I do), disappointment can turn into sadness.  I'm so thankful that years ago, I learned how to battle my demons, but it's not an easy process.  It still takes me by surprise at times.

I know that Satan is lurking around waiting on me to quit....to give up trying to make any kind of difference for Christ.  I also know that when we're close to a break-through, the heat from the battle will intensify. 

Friends, I'll be honest with you right now and tell you that my insecurities are trying to get the best of me.  Satan is trying to get me to doubt myself, doubt what I hear from God, and assume the worst.  Nothing in particular has happened.  It doesn't have to.  It's just that way for those who experience depression. 

I do know this, though.  He doesn't want my book to sell.  He doesn't want me to be able to use my Christian education.  He wants me to feel alone and isolated and without a friend in the world.  He is attacking me now because God has blessed me and my family so much lately.  He doesn't like the fact that I am willing to jump out of a boat, expecting Jesus to be there to help me.

Our trip to Cherokee was probably the best one yet.  I felt God in big ways as I searched for Him in those beautiful mountains.  I always feel closer to Him when I'm there. 

God is also making connections for us that I feel will open doors we've been standing at and waiting for someone to open.  We have two very special friends there in Cherokee, Danny and Teresa Sweet. 

They are members of Cherokee Baptist Church and they have taken us under their wings and opened the door of their home to us at any time.  I'm always encouraged when we visit with them and it's so obvious to me how God put us together to begin a good work on the Cherokee Reservation.  They are a true example of what Christians should be like.....and they are true friends.

I'll close with a couple of pictures I took over the weekend.  I've got lots of them to edit and I promise I'll share that with you soon.










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