My Daddy

As the sun sets this evening, a feeling of dread settles over me. Tomorrow has been on my mind for several days now. I can relive the scene so vividly that in this moment it seems just like yesterday - the day my daddy left this world and entered Heaven's gates.

Tomorrow will be only two years ago that he lost his battle with Pancreatic cancer. In those early moments after death, we counted the minutes that he'd been gone. Then those minutes turned into hours, then days, weeks, months, and eventually our minds seemed satisfied to keep up with the years. As I think about this, it seems to me that it's because over time, we come to terms with the loss and are able to move on. To go on living - it seems unfair at first. Others around you are smiling and laughing. Don't they know what you lost? Haven't they experienced loss before? You feel as though time should stand still - the world can't possibly be the same without your loved one there.

As days pass, you catch yourself smiling, laughing a little, and living life again. At first you feel guilty, but it seems to be something you can't control - your spirit wants to go on living. It's a gift - a gift from God. It's the peace He talks about that passes all understanding.

I've felt hurt in my life before, most of my own doing - making poor choices and having to deal with the consequences. But the death of my father was the worst pain and hurt my heart has known. While I know that it won't be the last, I now have a renewed sense of hope. I know more than ever what it's like to feel the prayers of God's people, to feel the arms of my Savior holding me and comforting me - even when I'm too weary to utter a word in prayer.

I know when I awake in the morning, my daddy will be the first thing on my mind. I'll be sad throughout the day when I think of that day and the pain he suffered while fighting his battle with cancer. But I know I'll also catch myself smiling here and there as I think of the many precious memories I have of him. And I'll catch myself laughing and living in the moment. For that is all we have - the present It's a gift to us from our Lord, that's why it's called the present. And I think it's so appropriate that the timing of his death is always close to the Relay for Life event we have where I live. I've always supported this event, but it's personal now. It is my hope that in my lifetime, I will see them develop the cure for this dreaded disease.

I'd like to close this blog comment by sharing with you a poem that I wrote about my father, George T. Futch, Jr. It was shared at his funeral:

What a special man
Who was a father to four
A loving, devoted husband
And “Papa” to nine more

A man of few words
But we listened when he spoke
Words of truth and wisdom
Many times a story or joke

Always a hard worker
Never wanting recognition or fame
Quietly doing for others
Never expecting the same

He dearly loved his parents
And enjoyed his role as brother
He’d expect us now
To support one another

He enjoyed life
Fought a good fight with faith
He’s received his eternal reward
And seeing Jesus face to face

Though we miss him dearly
We know we’ll see him someday
In our home prepared in heaven
With our Savior always

Lynn Langford

1 comment:

Dr M said...

What a wonderful testimony to a wonderful man!!! GOD Bless You!!!