9/19/08

Stop and Smell the Roses

Well, it's been a while since my last post. It seems I haven't had a spare minute lately to do anything personal. We got moved into our new home over the Labor Day holiday - Yahoo!!! After moving twice, (once to the rental), we wondered if we had a "hoarding" problem. Where did all of that stuff come from?

As I went through all of the boxes, I started thinking about the past. There was lots of memorabilia from Dillan's "baby years", things from my high school, and some things I can't remember why I saved! I thought about why we save things. There's nothing wrong with saving things to remind you of happy times. We certainly don't intentionally save things to remind us of the bad times, but there were things in those boxes that reminded me of times in the past that weren't so happy. But as I thought about them, I was reminded of the storms and trials in my life that God has brought me through. Something happened inside me as I started throwing away things that weren't necessary to keep. I thought about how we forget we even have those things stored away. How many bad memories do we keep in the back of our mind, taunting us even just once or so every year? We think we're over something and moved on, and then when we least expect it, we run across it again in our mind.

I'm so thankful for a God of mercy and grace who not only forgives me of my sin when I ask, but forgets about it also! If he doesn't feel it necessary to remember it and hang on to it, why should we?

Only three weeks after moving, I had back surgery. Until today, I've been at home recovering for the past 4 1/2 weeks. I had lots of time to once again ponder things. It's funny how much you think when you actually are still enough to think and concentrate! I had been running myself crazy at work trying to prepare for medical leave and getting things settled at home while I physically could.

I know I've always been an independent person, but I didn't realize how strong-willed (or should I say, "bull headed") I can actually be. I don't like feeling like a burden and having to ask others to do things for me. When things need to be done, I think they should be done perfectly - and that usually means I'd rather do it myself because I'm a perfectionist. But the Lord's been working on this perfectionist these last few weeks.

The Lord has shown me that I've been living life too fast - not taking time to "smell the roses". I wake up every day with everything planned on my schedule and heaven forbid it be changed! I've been forced to slow down and face my imperfections. You have no choice when you are not physically able to clean the house, tie your own shoes, or even pick up your favorite pet for a quick snuggle. I've had to depend on others to do things for me and take care of things around the house. I have to admit I've pitched a few fits when things were dropped and no one was around to help me. But things are actually getting done - WITHOUT ME. So what if my husband puts clothes in the wrong drawers or puts too much pepper in his cooking. At least he's there doing everything he can to take care of me and our family.

I get this mental picture now of God patiently looking down at me as I go through my busy days. I'm so thankful he's patient with me. And although he allows me to do things my way, I've been forced to remember that my way is not the only way. It's not always the best way either. What it all comes down to is that he's always there and he'll always take care of us. We don't have to do it all alone and we don't have to stick to our plans and hope they are perfect. He's given us His Word for direction in our life and the gift of the Holy Spirit to guide us throughout each day. As I slow down the pace of my life, I'm able to hear Him speak to me more clearly. I'm more appreciative of the help he provides me - especially through my family. They've done a great job caring for me these last few weeks. And I must say, God's done a spectacular job of caring for me my whole life! I need to thank my family more for what they do, but most importantly, I need to thank God more for what's he's done and will always do.

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